Blessings and Heartaches

Some friends of ours Holly and Aaron have a beautiful daughter named Kate. She is the same age as Kenedi and has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. He website is www.prayforkate.com. Please keep them in your prayers that they will win this battle. While looking at the comments on Kate's website I clicked on a link that tells the stories of other sick children. It is heartbreaking. Several of them have passed away just in the last few days or will be passing away within hours. Some of the children especially two of the boys reminded me of my own. I literally feel sick when I think of my children becoming deathly ill. I cannot imagine knowing that I had no control of their situations. I have sat at my computer and sobbed many times for the families. I am sometimes so frustrated by not having a second to myself. but these parents who no longer have their babies would give anything to have them back bugging them to read a book to them, or bring them a glass of water or have them crawl in the bubble bath with them. I have taken for granted my day to day blessings. My beautiful, healthy, happy, giggling, children. My loving, supportive husband, who is my best friend. If you have ever been through a tragic loss, you realize quickly how unimportant stuff and drama is. I would give away every penny for my children's health and happiness. Today I pray that God would touch all the precious children who are fighting for their lives and that he would also touch the families of those who lost their battles. and the next time that I am in bed and one of my sweet babies wants to sleep with me. I will scoot over and tresure every second that God blesses me with.

New Family Pictures

Had the family pictures made Tuesday and I am sooooo happy with them.

Waiting

Ever had a time in your life where you feel like you are constantly waiting?? I feel like some things are so up in the air right now. I know that God is about to do something BIG he just hasn't reavealed what it is yet. I know that God is moving Luke and I in a new direction in life but I am not sure what that means. Does that make sense?? We both feel a stirring in our hearts and a confusion about what to do with it. I know God reveals all things in his time. So for right now we are just waiting. Praying and Waiting. On a second note We had family pictures yesterday so I will post some of those asap. Kenedi and Luke are on a field trip today. She wanted her Daddy to go withher:) I would like to be a fly on the wall for that trip. It is already almost the end of October usually by now I have been listening to Christmas songs for a month and itching to put up decorations. But this year something is different. I don't know if it is I am so consumed with what is going on inside me spiritually or what, but I haven't even thought about it. I have got to get in gear. Please pray with me Friends, that I will hear what God wants me to hear and I will be obiedient. Have a great day!

Grandparents

My husband Luke's Grandma Lib is in the hospital, Please remember her. She has Lung failure and her heart is working to hard trying to make up for her Lungs. Please remember her and the family. My husband is fortunate to still have all his grandparents. Both of his parents are remarried so we are blessed to have a HUGE family on his side. He has parents, stepparents, grandparents, stepgrandparents, and so on. Our wedding was a large affair to say the least:) I love big families. All my grandparents have passed away. My mom's mother passed away before I was born from an illness. My dad's father passed away when I was 4 but I do still have a few memories of him. My dad's mother and my mom's father were around when I was young. My grandpa or grandaddy Pete as we called him was an alcholic who had been radically changed by the grace and forgiveness of God, He was a member of the foursquare church which is similar to assemblies of God, I always remember him with a smile, a pair of dress pants with suspenders, a members only type jacket, and a hat with a feather:) We even have pictures of him on the beach like this, minus the jacket:0. He remarried after my grandmother died to a lady I called Grandma Margaret. She was a sweet lady with white curly hair and a laugh and hug for everyone. I remember distinctly the layout of their living room. They were very poor and their home was what we would consider a small "shack". They both had their own recliners, with a pocket on the side. My Grandma Magarets contained usually a comb, a tvguide, some pens and paper, enough bubblicious bubble gum for all the grandkids and the big SECRET!! Cigarettes and a lighter, even though she swore she didn't smoke. Their Bathroom window was always open and the bathroom always smelled faintly of smoke:) Too funny. My granddaddy Pete's chair pocket always contained his remote and his bible that he had read through many times. He passed away when I was in 4th grade and I know he is in heaven today. My Grandma Williams, my dad's mom was quite a character. Everyone always tells me how much I am like her. I guess I have some of her best and worst qualities!! She was stubborn, and headstrong. But very giving and serving. She loved to have a good time. She loved to cook and sew. She loved flowers and especially rose bushes. I have all kinds of pictures of me in outfits she had made. The best were the homemade Christmas sweatshirts, outlined in puffy paint, and the easter dresses that strangely resembled her former living room curtains. She lived until I was 16. She was a wonderful woman who loved her Grandkids. My children are sooo blessed to have young grandparents who do all sorts of things with them. I am so thankful for the relationships my kids have with our parents it is a blessing to watch. So today be thankful for all the Grandparents you have.

I need Bread!!!

Ok so after losing almost 25 pounds, seeing 3 doctors and countless vials of blood. I have been diagnosed with Celiac's Disease. Celiac's is a intestinal disease where you can not tolerate or digest gluten, which is found in pretty much EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! I am not 100% sure I agree with the diagnoses so I am going to a specialist Monday. I have been following the gluten free diet except one little piece of cake monday night at Jessica"s.:) I truly do not know how this is going to help me gain any of the weight that I lost back considering I am a picky eater anyway and Everything that I usually eat contains GLUTEN!!!! So until I meet with the dr. I will continue to read every label in the tri state area:0 I will keep you updated.

Titles

Why are titles so important to us? Administrative assistant, vice president, chairman, girlfriend, bestfriend, leader, minister. Why are all the names so important to us? I think it is because these titles are not given, they are earned. You are not born a vice president, you are not born a friend, you earn these titles by other people and they give us a feeling of worth. I have struggled for soooo long with my personal "title". I am continuously hurt when I feel like I am not given the "title" I deserve. Well I have had it up to my 5'3 head with that!!! People feel like we are nothing if we do not have the perfect title. Well what about those titles that we earn but we get no acclaim for?? How about Daughter, wife, mother, caregiver, Christian, Niece, prayer warrior. These are my titles some are facts, some I have bestowed upon myself. But these are the titles I will be using from now on, when I get that lovely question so what is your title. HA!!!! God does not want us to get wrapped up in these!! He wants us to take the titles he has given us, daughter, forgiven, redeemed, and most of all saved. He did not give his life for us so we can try to be more powerful than the next person. He does not want us to get wrapped up in what others think or say. He died so that we could bask in his grace and mercy, and that we can be the titles that he died for. because his greatest title is "SAVIOR"

Funny Things

Last Night I was doing my 85th millionth load of laundry and Luke and Kenedi were at church. Asa was supposed to be in his room playing. Well, when I went to check on him he was missing in action. but like hansel and gretel he left a trail behind of his clothing:) I found him in my bathroom standing up on the side of my jacuzzi tub peeing in it and aiming at the jets. So I asked him"just what exactly do you think you are doing" his reply...... shooting those targets for you:) then yesterday after I picked up Kenedi from school we passed a cemetary on the way home. she said mom what is that? So I told her that is where the bury people when they die. and she got this concerned look and said " isn't it scary down there?" So then I said "Ken that is just your body, your heart and soul and mind is in heaven with Jesus. Your body is just your shell." This was alot for a five year old to think about. so I said I am sorry sissy, I don't know how to explain it very well. She answered back "well maybe you should ask Uncle Neal and try again." lol. My brother in law is the children's pastor at our church:)

OMG!!!!!!!

I ran away

WOW!! It has been almost 6 months since I started this blog............and I haven't wrote 1 thing:(
I had good intentions really I did, but here is the truth. I ran away this summer. Ran away to the beach. We had a tragic death in our family that shook me to my core, so I ran. Ran from Death, from reality, from sadness, from EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!!! but guess what it all still found me. This summer was one of the hardest, yet best summers of my life because I really had to rely on the Lord to get me through. I wish I could share everything I learned but I can only share a little so I will start with this......Life goes on. Even when you don't want it to. There were so many different kinds of hurt that I experienced this summer, yet at the same time indescribable joys. Grieving so deeply it made me physically sick, yet watching my precious children run through the sand and jump the waves. My sweet baby girl begging me to go out in the water and play and not feeling like it but going anyway because how many more summers will she even want to play with Mommy. knowing that she would be starting school in the fall. I wanted to freeze time. Every moment was hard but precious. Some friends of ours daughter who is the same age as my daughter Kenedi was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As I watched my daughter swim and run and play, my heart ached for our friends. I realized after some time that I can not bring my loved one back, but I can spend every moment that I have left making precious memories with precious people. I am healing slowly but surely, there are still moments when I am angry and I want answers to my questions. But I know that my God is bigger. Bigger than brain tumors, drug addictions, broken marriages, strained friendships. Bigger than Cancer, and hurt, and dying beliefs. I know that he is bigger than all things. For there is Joy in the morning and in the Mourning.

Here We Go!!

OK,Ok I am going to give it a try. I am not a big fan of some blogs. But I figure this is a good way to share memories and funny stories of my kids and family. Thanks so much for checking me out.